Thursday 22 September 2011

Butlins - Final day

Sunday Morning, I must have been ill as I still didn’t have a hangover!! Feet we’re ironically killing me  - since I don’t walk around, but having my feet down for long periods causes the RSD – swelling, purple with red blotches look – sexy I know!

It was decided that we would take the day easy... not that we’d been exactly hard at work! We again went swimming. It was surprising how many people had already gone home, you pay for the Fri-Monday as part of your package... I suppose they’re not hardcore like me! (I actually laughed at my own statement there!)

For lunch we sampled the Italian Ice Cream parlour on site – it’s expensive but so worth it!!

Now fully fledged karaoke addicts we headed straight to the Irish bar after a rather scrummy Sunday Roast in the canteen! We went for a hung over casual Sunday jeans a top look. Our poor old Bride was so hung over that she clung to her diet coke like her life depended on it!

I must mention the legends that are Josh and Ben who ran the karaoke at the Irish Bar’s – perfect red coats!

By 11 Bride was ready for bed but again my hardcore (still giggling!) attitude kicked in and Mrs P and I went to see Damage (last Google search for you!) another 90’s boyband at the main stage.

Our “team” of security staff – Jade, Sarah and Mark all made sure we were safe and that no b**ch slapping would occur again. We’d made it to the venue a little late so we were placed practically back stage for the show... we could have been disappointed but we had 4 rather lovely bottoms to ogle at – we were in hen mode, we aren’t usually this bad......!

No photo opportunities this time, much to Mrs P’s disappointment, it was thought that Damage might be molested by too many Hen’s for a photo call lol!!

On Monday, my bubble had popped and I was knackered! Absolutely exhausted, all self inflected, but I’m actually quite proud how well I did keeping up!!

Butlin’s Big Weekends are highly recommended by me! Had I been a meeker version of myself Friday’s events could have made the who weekend very miserable, but the Butlins staff and my beautiful friends made sure that I was safe and happy – what more could I have asked for?

L x

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Butlins Pt 2

Much to my two friend’s annoyance I awoke Saturday full of bean’s despite the drama on Friday. We headed to the restaurant for a full cooked breakfast – since we didn’t get lunches included in our package I made the most with two of everything to last me until dinner! Clever or tight?

We went to guest services to see what had happened in regards to the cripple beater. Because of the volume of people security hadn’t managed to spot her and amongst so many fancy dress costumes I’m not surprised! 

We were advised that when we entered the main stage or larger venue’s to let security know and they’d help us through the crowds and be on alert.

After a quick drink restock at Tesco’s, to wake up the other two, we decided to use the swimming pool. We spent most of our time, eyeing the boys floating along the lazy river and (me) trying not to drown in the wave pool. There are half a dozen slides and water rides within the pool, but all with a lot of stairs, this put me off since when I spend any time in water my legs do a rather impressive Bambi impression!

Since my two lovely friends are both Mummies, it’s not often they get to really let their hair down, and as we’d had such a rather nasty experience the night before we got ourselves masks, put on our longest, fanciest dresses and we were once again in the Irish Bar for more Karaoke by 6!

We were greeted by the “cast” of Baywatch including a very touchy feely shark and a disturbing “Pamela Anderson” impersonator.

The girls quickly signed up for 4 goes on the stage, we were on first name bases with the red coats by the end of the evening.

Between 7-11pm the memories are more likened to flashbacks.... when I looked at the photos.... here’s why I thought I might have dreamt the entire night! It’s probably best I don’t explain the events in words!

Sexy I know!

Michael Lives on!


No words....

Honey Monster Hug!

Karaoke finished and we made our way to main stage, security recognised us straight away and escorted us to a space right at the front of the stage and a lovely safety guide called Mark stayed with us.  

We were at the main stage to see 90’s Boy Band 911 (again you’ll have to Google!). When I was about 12-14 I was a bit of a fan of the highlights and dodgy tracksuits. As soon as their first track started I screamed and grinned just like when I saw them at the Smash Hit’s Poll Winners Parties, these were award show run by a music magazine – no longer in print – we all grew up – or so I’d thought. I was so ridiculously lost in the cheesy music that even Mark took the mickey!

When Mark then asked whether I was excited and would I like to be more excited, I didn’t know whether to be flattered or blush...... stupid Malibu only makes my brain more perverted... what Mark was actually asking was would I like to meet 911 and have my photo taken with them. The squeal I let out could only be heard by dogs (or nasty cripple beaters).

And so there I was getting a kiss (on the cheek – sadly) and having my photo taken with the boy band.... yes I was excited acting like a 13 year old but did I care, did I hell! I spent the rest of the night singing to Mumbo No. 5, Barbie Girl and I’ve got the Power (you’ll need to You Tube these too!)

And I loved it!!

Final part tomorrow!

L x

Tuesday 20 September 2011

Butlins Pt 1

Butlins the British Family holiday camps have been open since 1936 a place for good wholesome fun... not this weekend! Two friends and I visited the Minehead resort for a 90’s Reloaded Weekend.

Feeling slightly old that the 90’s is now a nostalgic theme, I was looking forward to spending the weekend with my girls and maybe relive some memories through the music. Little did I know I would revert to being mentally 13yrs old, screaming at “boy” bands and remembering dance moves to “Saturday Night”, “The Macarena” and “Tragedy”.

Our weekend started Friday morning with a 5 hour car journey to Somerset, to get the holiday rolling I made CD’s  and called the mix tapes as homage to cassette tapes we all used to make by recording the top 40’s with Dr Fox.

We got to the resort and were sorted with our room keys, disabled parking a meal times. We’d gone for the silver package which includes bed, breakfast, dinner and entry to all big events and gigs.

Our apartment was basic two bedrooms, 1 bathroom, living room and kitchen – we didn’t expect to be there much anyway!!

We started exploring the site looking for shops and scouting out the evening venues. We started drinking getting ready by 3pm and planned to go watch the Karaoke at the Irish Bar. I’m always happy to go wherever, tag along and give most things a go but watching people murder my favourite songs – I could feel the headache forming hours before! 

As this was Mrs T’s post wedding hen do I wanted to please and she was/is it turns out - a karaoke addict and I found that although I won’t get up to sing myself watching those with the guts to do it – bore a new love between me and the Japanese “art” form!

Friday night all glammed up we headed to the Irish bar and encountered HOT! Smurfs, middle aged men in bikini’s and an abundance of other hen/stag do’s we were in good company!

After a quick make up check we headed to the venue’s main stage to watch Chesney Hawkes (90’s pop star most famous for “I am the one and only” – you tube it!)

The main stage is a huge open plan room with bar’s lining the edges, lit with pink and blue neon’s, there’s a large stage with a photocall stage to meet and greet acts after their performances.

In high spirits we were ready to relive out youth but the night was to end on a sour note.

As the three of us made our way through the crowd so that I had a chance of seeing the act through the mass of people I started what I call the “Excuse me, sorry, thank you” - tapping peoples backs and nicely asking if I could get through, usually running their feet over and me apologising – it’s ritual we encounter in every club, gig, theatre etc.

It seems I tapped the wrong shoulder when a woman spun round, grabbed my wrist, slapped my hand and told me I was a F*****g cripple! I have never in 17 years of using my wheelchair had such hostility directed towards me. I was completely taken aback by this act of rudeness and a few minutes later (somewhat helped by a few drinks) started to cry and asked if we could go back to our apartment. I wasn’t going to make a fuss, it wasn’t ours or Butlin’s fault but as we exited the venue their security staff stopped us to find out what had gone on.

The Butlins staff were brilliant I couldn’t help but laugh as they mocked the angry cripple beating woman and promised if they could find her on site they’d quickly have her removed.

The manager said to go home, put my face back on, freshen up and come back out. We had all intentions of doing so, but our momentum and mood for the night had been somewhat hindered. As we all said our goodnight’s we all vowed no more tears and a better night should be had Saturday.... boy did we make up for it.....

Tomorrow.... Part 2

L x

Thursday 8 September 2011

Epic Doh!

I'm not always the brightest star in the sky, but I think this may be a new level of dozy even for me! I got up this morning excited that my blog had reached its 1st Anniversary, although there have been some gaps in between posts – I've stuck with it.

I’ve come to love the readers’ comments and the thrill of when you see people enjoying your work enough to repost/retweet a link. 4500 reads in a year isn’t bad... accept it hasn’t been a year it’s been 13 months - Epic Doh! I’d read my first post as the 08/09/2010 when in fact it was on 09/08/2010. We shall call this lost month “The Codeine Phase”.

So it’s been a “year” and 57 posts... and you guys are still with me! Are you sick of me yet? It’s said that a good blog writer writes at least 3x a week, could you, my friends, handle that?

When I started I chose the name ladygogo84(inset why? link) – a name to hide behind because I thought I might not be received well and least it wouldn’t stick forever imbedded in Google under my real name. 

I’ve considered dropping the Alias and to “come out” so to speak and there are so many ladygogo’s online... usually Gaga tributes, the latest being Lady Bah Bah – the inflatable sheep who is currently following me on twitter (@Lynseybee). To be honest I’ve not been great at hiding any kind of identity – too much hard work!

So what have I learnt since I started... Firstly that I have to take criticism on the chin, and not crumble as soon as anyone’s “mean” to me... for the love of God woman grow up! I suppose this is closely linked to my very evident lack of confidence in my posts – seems I need to grow a pair too!

On a more personal note after the last year or so involving a court case, 6 months without Mike, re-homing my beloved dog Pyro, a long and unrelenting relapse amongst other big changes in my life I’m doing fine (as fine as you can in a codeine haze it seems!) so I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was – just need to keep reading the above paragraph! Maybe that should be my mantra Grow up and Grow some – catchy!

Where from here? Well assuming you all keep reading, I’ll keep writing – as long as you and I are happy – let’s begin continue the 2nd year!

L x

Tuesday 6 September 2011

Sleepy, Dopey, Doc and Endo

Almost 12 years ago, I was assigned a home tutor ; we’ll simply call her M. Unfortunately I wasn’t being home schooled due to family wealth or my parents being professors – no, it was being the “special” person that I am -  not only were my legs not working but I’d come into a rather (un)amusing phase of epileptic fits and narcolepsy.

Yes I would fall asleep involuntarily... any time of day you could find me just about anywhere; conked out on the landing, in my wheelchair sat up or on several occasions face first in my dinner – these were just a few of my slumber favourites.

So as you can imagine school (and too be just a little dramatic....) life became just that little bit more difficult. So I was assigned the lovely M. M only drank fruit teas, I was intrigued by her wealth of knowledge and her instant knowing if I had carelessly rushed a piece of homework.

I would look forward to M’s visits and wished I’d had her my entre schooling life, I credit her for my being awarded the GCSE’s my school had assumed I would never pass and for my 16th Birthday M bought me a huge map of the world to intrigue and further my interest in travel.

M also introduced me to Pop. She had been signed off from school/college due to depression and unexplained “period pains”. M had driven me to Pop’s house as she thought we would complement each other’s very opposite personalities. Pop was very shy, very slim and had the thickest, darkest, curliest hair I’d seen – it was beautiful!

In 12 years since - Pop and I have stayed in touch and have come to be very close friends, we only see or hear from M occasionally but she’s always mentioned every time we meet up.

Also in the last 12 years Pop has had to deal with the fact that those mysterious period pains were in fact the symptoms of Endometriosis. A condition where a tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows in other area’s of the body – it’s an extremely painful condition that many sufferers have been brushed aside with a “period pain – PMT” diagnosis.

Despite her pain Pop is running 5k on Sunday in aid of Endometriosis UK you can sponsor her here!! She has so far raised £1080 – not bad for someone who has trouble leaving the house – most of this money raised has been donated by her huge twitter following! If nothing else visit the donation page just to read her plea or see her blog at

Endometriosis is still frequently undiagnosed for years and women suffer with not only the physical pain but the emotional turmoil of too many hormones raging through their bodies and in some cases the heart ache of some never being able to have children. Because of all this Pop has been come a hero of mine, and I hope you’ll admire (& support!) her as much as I do!

L x

Friday 2 September 2011

Trust in Me

Earlier this year my friend visited me for dinner when she asked me to be her official wedding photographer. I was so elated that her and her Husband to be considered me to be a good enough snapper and I was excited for a real chance to exercise my SLR camera to its full potential.

Then in dawned on me, this was a test of my own personal potential! A once in a life time day,  this lovely couple would be caught by me and my artistic eye, their special day stored on my compact flash memory card, their dewy doe eyed snaps depending on my Photoshop skills.... big surprise... I started to panic... now this I do to my 100% potential!

As the saying goes “Fail to Prepare or Prepare to Fail” – this was certainly not an option and as they day drew nearer I started a military plan of attack. Youtube hits in “Wedding Photography” and “Flattering Lighting” must have had a 20% rise. I spent hours going through friend’s wedding photos and photographer’s websites, many an evening looking up Photoshop tutorials in fancy tricks (technical name you know!) plus reading countless Wedding Forum feeds. My internet history reads worse than any ferocious Bridezilla.

The Big Day finally arrived (yesterday!) and after getting up at 6am to check my equipment was charged and ready, checking it again, and once more for luck and paranoia. I went to do the pre wedding photos at my Brides house. I was handed a Mimosa and a bowl of chocolates – it was going to be a good day!

Now anyone reading this thinking; photography isn’t that just point and click? Get over yourself love! Have you seen all the buttons and settings on an SLR? Don’t forget I’m pretty much a professional amateur!

Although loved my “job” so much! It was hard at moments trying to take photos through tears (of happiness) and my heart spent the day thudding against my ribcage, I’d never realised how much attention is drawn towards photographer, I could feel people peering over my shoulder as I worked and when I was approached by a family member of the couple, asking how many weddings I had done, the colour draining in their face was only mirrored by my own white worried complexion.

The parents of my lovely bride bought me a few ciders as the afternoon wore on and I finally relaxed a little, my newlywed couple continued to thank me for doing a great job despite not seeing any of the pictures – their unfaltering faith in me jangled my nerves until I finally got home to view the photo’s through my fingers, holding my breath.

Lo and behold.... I pulled it off!... My newly married couple will of course be the final judges but it turns out I can work all those buttons and settings!

Will I do another wedding? Never say never but probably not, I loved the honour of catching these intimate moments, but my legs and blood pressure wouldn’t thank me!

L x