Thursday 12 June 2014

Letter to my 40 Year Old Self


Me again! I've had lots going on as usual! My Sister Nicola and her partner Dan, became first time parents, giving me my second nephew! Baby Alex was born on June 7th at 2:27pm weighing a very healthy 7lb 10oz. I am completely besotted with him and I now have 2 Nephews and 5 Nieces, with two siblings and I, still yet to have our own children!

Alex 07/06/2014

Mike’s been away as usual, I haven’t seen him for three weeks but he’s home in three days time!  He’ll be in the UK a grand total of 24hrs because we’re off to France for two weeks with his family, which includes 3 days at Disneyland!! I can guarantee I’ll be more excited than our 3 and 1yr old Nieces!

I still have to catch you all up on Australia but I thought I’d take a break from that to follow up on a project I gave myself last year.

Last week, I turned 30. I’ve been utterly spoilt as usual; My Mum and sister made me a homemade Afternoon Tea which was so lovely! Friends turned up to take me to breakfast, lunches, cocktails, dinners and yet more Afternoon Teas. I received tons of cards, gifts, text’s, calls and had a lot of love on social media – Thank you to you all – I’ve felt very special indeed.

On my 29th Birthday, as some of you may remember, I wrote A Letter to My Teenage Self (click here!) This became one of my most popular blog posts ever. I had friends and family do the same and I’ve had their work stowed away until now.

Turning 30 is seen as a milestone. I’ve been regularly asked how I felt  about changing decades. Getting older doesn’t bother me, (but is that because I’m still very young?)  but I do looked back over my 20’s and wished I’d taken a few more risks and ticked more things off my bucket list.

So, today I’m presenting you guys with my letter to my 40 year old self.

All those that sent me their teen letters, could you now write to your future selves for me please? If you’re a new reader have a look over both of my letters and if you want to get involved please do, I’ll be launching a competition around the entries!

Letter to My 40 Year Old

Dear Lynsey,

Wow, 40. I remember our Mum turning 40. She looked so young, in fact now she’s 50, she still looks like a woman in her 30’s. Since I’ve just turned 30, I’m praying I’ve inherited her youthful genes.

I’m hoping Mike would have proposed by 2024. If he hasn’t, did you have the gumption to just start booking venues, florists and buying your wedding dress? Then, only letting Mike in on the plans when he receives a save the date cards like all the guests? Bless him, the pressure The Boy must be feeling after 8 years is crazy, but I keep telling him to chill out and do it how he wants to do it, taking no notice of friends or YouTube proposals!!

I do hope I’ve gotten over my fear of having children by 40. I’m currently in a limbo where I should probably make the most of my younger body and pop out one or two nippers, but seeing how hard it’s been for friends and family, has had me running to the chemist within 24hrs of a late period.

This must sound completely juvenile to you now? I hope my keeping the breaks firmly locked in, that I haven’t caused us the heart break and stress of IVF or Adoption. I know we’ll make a great Mum, but I’m just not ready to give up my selfish lifestyle just yet!

I’m hoping that Complex Regional Pain Syndrome hasn’t lost you a limb by now and I’m anticipating a cure by 2024, I do wonder what life would be like without constant pain, although I’d rather there was a cure for cancer first, I long to see that in our lifetime. 

When we were 19, we seriously lacked in confidence. At 30, we still do, we’re just so much better at faking it! I do hope that confidence grows to be real and without an ego or vanity. 

By now I’ve linked the lack of fearlessness to the lack of work you commit to or produce. Every article we post or email we send to our editors, is sent with eyes close, and body poised like waiting for a bomb to go off, I hope in the future we’ve grown a back bone and some giant balls!

At the moment I’m waiting to hear when we’ll be moving to America with Mike’s work. I’m currently mood swinging between excited, terrified, curious and anxious. How do I say Bye to everyone without balling my eyes out? I know Denver’s only a plane ride away, but not seeing Mum 5 times a week is going to be so hard, this only being made harder by our nieces and nephews. Alex has just been born, I want to hug him every day. He’ll be 10 whilst you’re reading this – I cannot even begin to imagine him being anything other than a new born baby.

With all this in mind, I do actually think American will be great fun; in fact I’m apprehensive that we’ll like it too much and won’t want to come home, but by now we know we have to go where Mike’s work takes us and he’ll look after us no matter where we are. 

I hope I 30’s are full of love, laughter and plenty of luck. I’ll try my hardest to be the courageous woman we want to be, and I hope we make the most of every day. Try not to get "too" middle aged, one of the things I like about us is how easily excited we get about the smallest things, don't lose that enthusiasm for life. Continue to enjoy Comic movies, why should they just been for teenage boys? Carry on making your friend pose for the pre night out photo in all your future kitchens and please learn to not worry so much, I fear one day that worry will break us. 

Keep smiling; keep optimistic and I’ll see you in 10 years!
Lynsey x

Cheers old Girl!