I've moved!

After 8 years, 227 blog posts and almost 140,000 reads, I'm moving to a new blogging home!

I have started work on LynseyGarrick.com, a proper website and everything! I thought it was about time I really invested in my writing and I want to connect with other bloggers/events/brands on a more professional level.

I will still occasionally post here to remind you where to find me, but for now, bye bye Blogspot!

L xxx

What James Achieved!

When you lose a baby, you're not just losing the child, you're losing the future you'd planned for them. You'll never hear them say, Mummy, you'll never take them to their first day at school, attend their graduation or give them away at their wedding. All the hopes and dreams that you had imagined for your child and yourself as a parent, disappear.

So today, on what should have been James' due date (14/07/2018), I wanted to write about what James has achieved. He may have only lived for 23 weeks and 5 days, all of which were inside me, but James has done so much.

Fundraising

When we announced we were pregnant, our loved ones were incredibly excited and when we lost James, they were devastated. We were inundated with cards, gifts and flowers. as beautiful and thoughtful as this was, if people wanted to spend money on us, we wanted it to mean something.

We requested that people donated to The Butterfly Suite at Southend University Hospital, the bereavement apartment where we had James. So far, over £1465 has been raised in James' name. From now on every Christmas and on his Birthday, Mike, our families, and I will continue to support this wonderful place and future bereaved parents.

The Butterfly Suite and the sign Mike made for them.

Mike and I

After 12 years, two houses, 1 wedding and countless drama in between, Mike and I were happy and solid in our relationship. But losing James has strengthed us as a couple. I've seen a new sensitive and open side to Michael (read more about that here) and now we talk about everything, no matter how hard. James has bought his Mummy and Daddy close together, ready to be awesome parents to his future siblings.

Bravery

Mike is scared of needles, but he wanted to get a tattoo in memoriam of his boy, so he did. A beautiful bear with the Ursa Minor constellation on his belly (where we've bought a star dedicated to James) and I will today, have a go at doing Instagram stories -something I keep putting off! We are being brave, because we've been through so much, we now feel like warriors.

Mikes tattoo

Appreciation

I've always been a glass half full kind of girl, this natural optimism was rocked when we lost James, my glass just felt empty. As the weeks have gone by, I've started to feel more like my old self. Of course, I'll never be the same, but my love for life has begun to return and I now appreciate Mike, my family, friends, my home and even my questionable health much more.

Less Stress

We all have stressful lives, there is always a to-do list on the go, another commitment to add to the diary and a bill to pay, but now that, in my opinion, I have experienced one of the worst things a human can go through, I am a lot less stressed. I take all the small irritants of life with a pinch of optimistic salt. James has saved me from a lifetime of worrying over the small stuff.

New Friends

I have a lot of wonderful friends and didn't need any more but in my grief, I sought out to meet and read about those who could completely understand what child loss feels like and those that could guide me through this hard and painful road.

If you want to follow any inspirational or kick arse bereaved parents here are are few;

• Hashtag_Emma - Honest, funny and rapidly becoming a close friend!

• TheLegacyofLeo - The founder of Twitters #BabylossHour (Every Tuesday 8pm) and an advocate for LGBTBabyloss issues - a real leader.

• Ben_and_Breaking_the_Silence - A ballsy mum on a mission to get people talking about child loss and creating a universal symbol and term Vilomah (Latin for "Against the Natural Order").

• One_Missing_Mum - Relatable, authentic and sweet.

• HannahPontillo - Style, strength and substance all in one account.

• ForFrancesca - A proud and straight talking Scot, one to watch for health inspo too.

• Pops_and_Roos_Dad - Refreshing to see baby loss from a fathers point of view and the 5am snaps (and Pete's evident appreciation of being a Dad of a rainbow baby)

______________________________

Even though we would give anything to have James back, celebrating his health and happy entry into the world today, I have to give thanks for the things James has achieved and given us. Whenever and however a woman gives birth, she is changed whether it has a good or bad outcome. No doubt James' passing will continue to teach Mike and I hard lessons, but I am proud of our boy - our first born and true love but I'm also proud of us.

L xxx

Dear Michael

Dear Michael,
It's Fathers Day, sadly not a happy one. Without our James here with us, our arms are empty, but you are still a Father.

You became a Father on November 4th 2017, the day we took the pregnancy test. You'd reluctantly gone to the pharmacy, as I'd been feeling sick for 10 days, you thought I was just being a hypochondriac and psychosomatically wishing I had morning sickness, but those two pink lines proved us wrong.

For weeks afterwards, I would catch you grinning to yourself, or I'd see you looking at other Fathers and their children and occasionally suggesting baby names whilst reading ending credits of a TV show.

James' pregnancy was difficult, from the medical detox to the severe sickness and the pain. You would work a 10 hour day, come home, cook, clean and then work on your art projects, whilst I took to the sofa - scared to move. You were a star and never complained.

When we went to scans, you would involuntarily grab my hand and we'd grin like fools, I could physically see you falling in love with James. As my tummy grew and my symptoms subsided we started to plan the nursery, we bought a Moses basket, discussed breast pumps and researched birthing plans, none of it phased you, I knew you were more than ready to be a Daddy.

On the fateful day we found out we would lose James, as our hearts broke in unison, I knew in that moment how much you loved both James and I, by how much pain you were in.

When James was born, I was highly medicated but the memory of you holding our boy, stroking his face, tears streaming down yours whilst your Dad, James' Grandad, rested a supportive hand on your shoulder - will stay with me forever.

The process of losing James took its toll on us, but only strengthened our relationship, you became more open, emotional and honest, after 12 years together I didn't think I could know you any better, but you becoming a Father just made me more proud and in awe of you.

In the 2 and half months since James was born, you've had to go back to work, but it hasn't stopped you caring for me. When you arrive home and I've barely managed to do more than shower and cry, you don't tut or become annoyed, you always ask "What can I do?" and sit and hold me as I sob... and that's all I need. You do this all whilst grieving yourself, you've been so strong. I cannot thank you enough.

One day, you will be a Father of a living baby, he or she will never replace our first born, but losing him as made me realised, now more than ever, how much I want children with you. If we can come out of all this heartache, stronger and more solid, then I think anything else life throws at us will be a doddle and I'm so glad it's you by my side.

So have this Fathers day with your own Father, yes it will be sad, yes there will be someone missing but let's hope that by next Fathers day it will be a happy nappy filled one.

I love you
L xxx

Baby Loss - Help and Resources

If you've not seen my social media. Mike and I lost our baby, James, at 24 weeks gestation. Below I've listed some websites and books that have really helped in the nightmare of losing a child.

SANDS

SANDS - Is a stillbirth and neonatal death charity supporting parents during what can only be described as a nightmare. They offer a website, helpline, forums and so much more. I've met many bereaved parents on their forum and knowing that you're not alone and what your feeling is completely "normal" has been such a wonderful thing.

Mariposa Trust

Also known as Saying Goodbye, the Mariposa Trust is another charity helping those who have lost a child. They not only support couples through child loss, they run remembrance services, they're lobbying for the age of baby registration to be lowered (Our James was just 26 hours too early to be registered for his birth or death), and for a high standard of care to be given to all couples, as at the moment what kind of care you and your baby receive is a lottery.

The founder of the Mariposa trust, Zoe Clark-Coates, lost 5 babies and has written an amazing book called Saying Goodbye. The book is a 90 guide through baby loss. It's been an absolute life saver for me personally, it's as though reading my own diary with all the questions and worries answered with kindness and honesty.

Buy it here


ARC

Stands for Antenatal Results and Choices and they're a charity who support parents and healthcare professionals through antenatal screening and what the results mean for the child, parents and those caring for them.


Tommy's

Tommys is a research fund in the causes and consequences of baby loss; in miscarriage, stillbirth, during birth deaths and conditions that mean you have to end your babies life (like we had to with James due to CDH) plus their website also offers great advice to have a great pregnancy.


If you wish to view the vlog where I explain what happened to James watch below or click here.

If you wish to view the video where I explain and describe how to plan a babies funeral watch below or click here.

I hope some of this helps you. If you need a friend or more advice please e-mail me at Lynsey_Ellard@hotmail.com.

L x

Baby Show Ticket Giveaway

On March 2nd-4th The Baby Show, with MadeforMums is being held at the London Excel Centre. Mike and I have been invited to go along, now that we're parents to be! An incredible shopping experience, The Baby Show offers the biggest and best brands for parents, bumps and new babies - we can't wait!

Given that I'll be a disabled Mum with some difficulties and limitations, I personally cannot wait to meet all the exhibitors to try and test their products, anything that will help make me a better, more capable mother. Plus by the time of the show, we'll know whether we'll be buying pink or blue!

From Baby Bjorn, Chicco, Joolz, MAM, Tommee Tippee, Mothercare, Babiesrus and many many more The Baby Show really is the place to go for all your baby needs!

I have two full-priced adult tickets to give away! See below for your many chances to win!

Baby Show Ticket Giveaway

Good Luck!

L x

I'm Pregnant!

If you've not seen my countless social media posts or YouTube videos... I'm pregnant! I'm now in week 16 and thankfully rid of the 1st Trimester. What with pain, sickness, fatigue... and that doesn't even include my long-term conditions, I've felt dreadful.

I now have the practicalities of pregnancy and a baby to contend with, how will my body copy as the baby grows (and grow it will, Mike is a big guy and the baby is already presenting 9 days bigger than it's actual conception date!) and as a disabled parent, I'm going to have to find ingenious and practical ways to ensure the safety of the baby and myself. But more on that in the coming months.

Below are my first two vlogs about Button (babies nickname) and me.

Button Update No1

This video is from the day we found out we were expecting.

If you can't see this video click here

Button Update No. 2

This video is my pain medication withdrawal diary - emotional and a hard watch but I wanted to be honest with my readers. 

If you can't see this video click here

Enjoy

L x

Halloween 2017

I appear to have lost the use of words in this vlog - I blame the lack of sleep, but I get the message across eventually! I talk prizes and Halloween featuring my nieces and nephews! Watch the video below if you can't see it click right here!

L xxx

Afternoon Tea at The Royal Hotel

On October 14th, I was invited to a Bloggers afternoon tea at the Royal Hotel in Southend (very handy since I live 10 minutes away!). I'm not sure you're meant to admit this but it was my very first blogger's event - and what a way to start!

In my twenties (read: drinking days) I avoided the Royal Hotel, it was an unsavoury drinking hole that had a lousy reputation. I always thought it was such a shame as it's an iconic 200+-year-old Southend landmark.

The Beautiful Royal Hotel *Although no 

longer a hotel*

Fast-forward to 2015, when brothers Matthew and David along with their father Terry renovated and saved the building from wreck and ruin, into a glorious restaurant and bar - something Southenders could be proud of.

Upon arrival, we were presented with a glass of non-alcoholic Prosecco called the Bee's Knees which was refreshing and tasty, perfect for baby showers and younger customers who want to feel grown up.

Director/Owner Matthew came to greet us and escorted me to the first-floor ballroom. Unfortunately, the venue isn't wheelchair accessible as it's a Grand II listed building, but all the staff were extremely helpful and supportive in getting myself and my chair around so that I didn't miss out.

The ballroom was exquisite, with the original 1791 floor, ornate coving and chandeliers. Standing in such a grand hall you can imagine how it was THE place to party and dine. Former guests of the Royal Hotel include Princess Caroline, wife of George IV and Lady Hamilton held a final ball for her lover Admiral Horatio Nelson in 1805, just a few months before the Battle of Trafalgar and now Lynsey Garrick lol!

The Royal Ballroom

Afternoon Tea was an absolute treat, we were lucky to sample the Royal Hotel Afternoon tea with delicate sandwiches, a selection of beautiful cakes, macaroons and scones with Tiptree jam. Plus we tried the Gentleman's Royal tea which featured chunky sandwiches, burgers, sausages, cheeses, olives and crackers.

 

The Royal Afternoon Tea and The Gentleman's Tea

Although both were delicious,  I personally preferred the Gentleman's selection which you can also add a Dalimore Whisky tray, sampling various aged products. With both booking's you can have tea, coffee or for a special event, prosecco.

After tea, The Royal Hotel staff hand more treats in store for us. We were escorted by Matthew, whose background is in event organising for venues such as the Tower of London and the Natural History Museum, to meet his brother David a trained flare barman who was head Bar Trainer at the London Cocktail Club.

 

Dr Legba's Emporium and Menu

Tucked away in the venue basement, is the wonderful Dr Legba's Emporium, an Emerald Green tavern, carefully lit, with a reclaimed wooden bar, covered in 2p's (over £170 worth!), quirky lamps and artwork, in addition to intimate tables and seating nooks perfect for a date night or a small celebratory event.

David expertly made us a selection of Royal Hotel cocktails. The menus are regularly rotated and the team are continually testing and trialling new and exclusive recipes.

Every drink was completely out of this world, I could easily spend a whole day trying them all. Each cocktail was distinctive playing on the origin recipes. For example, in David's Espresso Martini he adds salted caramel syrup adding a warming twist to this classic. 

Espresso Martini

I fell in love with the eccentric Absinth fountain, with its four funnels drip pouring the potent liquor into sugar cubes, for a heady aniseed cocktail. The piece de resistance of the afternoon was the "Pork and Apple" a blend of Sour apple liqueur, Absolut vodka, pressed apple juice, fresh lime all stirred with a slice of absinthe caramelised bacon, which is set alight - this cocktail was so scrumptious and the sweet, salty, smoky bacon was a distinctive little treat!

 

Absithe Fountain and The Pork and Apple cocktail

Matthew and David were wonderful hosts, the hotel staff were friendly and sweet, all the food and drinks were knowledgeably handpicked for an elite experience but without customers feeling out of place. The Royal Hotel is a special venue and I highly recommend it for lunches, nights out, afternoon teas or even a Sunday roast, it's a place where every meal feels like a luxurious treat.

View from The Royal Hotel

For more information and to see menu's click here!

L xxx

Rewind

There's lots to catch up on! The wedding, new jobs and wrinkle cream here is a video to catch up all up, on the goings on in the brand new Garrick Household!

If you can't see the video click here!

L xxx

Why Mike?

I was reading an article on why people married their spouses after a long time of being together. There were so many reasons for people taking their time to tie the knot, they wanted to save for houses, had children or a huge life event spurred them into taking the plunge.

With just 23 days until our wedding, after 11 and a half years together, we've certainly taken our time. I was never that worried about getting married, my parents aren't and it's not a popular past time in my huge family. Then Mike took his sweet time proposing and then we took further 3 years to get our arses in gear.

In the time we've been together, we've seen couples come together, fall apart... and yet we're still together. Some people have commented that our relationship isn't as valid as those who've exchanged rings, or that life is so different after saying I do. Can a piece of paper and jewellery really change 11 years of the way we live in our relationship?

One of my nieces asked why I was marrying Mike, I don't think she's meant, why on earth are you marrying that man... at least I hope she didn't! I guessed that she was asking what made me chose him.

Why do I love Mike? He is one of a kind. Geologist, Genealogist, Artist, Book Keeper, Handy man, Builder, Website designer, Photo restorer - a man with that many hobbies can't be anything but fascinating. He makes me laugh until I cry (Mike and his sister together render me to the point where my back spasms and I can't breathe with laughter!), he's protective without being possessive, strong, reliable, sweet and daft.

Mike's also grumpy, stubborn and sees everything in black and white, a trait I've spent a decade trying to fade into many shades of grey. But I wouldn't have him any other way.

We've been through deaths, court cases, rough patches, mental health issues, illnesses, road trips, holidays with both our families and a long distant relationship whilst he travelled the world for work and now we're embarking on a new business, marriage, babies. I think we're more than prepared for life post vows, but a wedding doesn't lessen the meaning or wonder of the 4180 days we've been together before that special day in front of our loved ones!

L xxx

It's a big day... no not that one!

I've been away again and here's why! Watch the vlog below if you can't see it click here!

Let me know how you all are?

L xxx

Kinky Boots

I was lucky enough to go on another matinee trip into London with Martin Wood Events (Formally TAP events) and this time it was Kinky Boots The Musical.

We had an interesting journey into the capital. Because of the horror this week in Manchester, London was a hotbed for police and army activity. I was thankful for the added protection but I couldn't help feel on edge watching armed police on the streets.

I had taken the trip with my lovely friend Lauren since our journey had been a long and slow one, we had a quick hour in Zizzi's for lunch and a skinny Prosecco (yes that is a real thing!).

Founded in 1806, Kinky Boots is held at the Adelphi Theatre (which is completely accessible with very helpful and attentive staff), which was beautiful with stunning 1930's art deco decor. The show is based on the 2005 film starring Chiwetel Ejiofor and is about a failing shoe factory in Northampton, which, after a chance encounter with a drag queen, has a second chance which is ultimately based on a true story!

The factory owner, clueless and lost Charlie Price was played by understudy Paul Ayre, an endearing character portrayal that carried the quieter chunks of the show with some sweet solo's and real heart but as soon as wonderful Drag Queen Lola, played by Matt Henry (of The Voice fame), enters the stage, all eyes were on her. With a quick wit, sharp moves and legs to die for, Henry is a joy to watch driving the lively and colourful numbers with style.

The whole show was supported by a brilliant, lively cast and ensemble - high energy and humour in spades and I have to mention Elena Skye who played Lauren, this is Skye's debut in the West End and she was hilarious, like a cheeky Northern Amy Poehler.

The show's score was written by the incomparable Cyndi Lauper and you can hear her influence in all the songs, astute lyrics, playful beats and the ability to draw emotion and connection in her words. My personal favourites were "Sex is in the Heel", "What a woman wants" and "Raise Up/Just Be".

Kinky Boots The Musical is just fabulous, a heartwarming, jovial and unique show that you leave with a huge smile on your face, I will be back to see the show as soon as I can and I'm off to purchase the soundtrack now!




Until next Wednesday!
L xxx

**********************************
In case you missed last weeks vlog click here or wach the video below

Head in the Sand

As a woman in my 30's, who completed her schooling, college and got accepted into University (albeit the fact I didn't go due to health!) I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person with a healthy dose of common sense to boot, but I have a somewhat childish habit.

I ignore the news. My head is firmly in the sand, my fingers are in my ears whilst I sing whatever current song I have merry-go-rounding in my head at the time.

I used to want to be clued up and ready for any current affairs conversation, but these days I just don't want to know. When I confessed this in a forum, I was berated for being sheltered and nieve, that maybe the case, but don't you ever feel there is so much going on, the majority of it truly awful, that you simply don't want to fill your head with all the terror and sadness?

Don't get me wrong, I know the basics; I know Donald Trump is proving himself to be the idiot we all knew he would be, and that this has caused issues with the rest of the world, namely Russia. I know that the UK election is looming, and I also have no idea who I'll vote for this time. But I just cannot bare to be bombarded constantly with negative and sensationalised events and people.

Does this make me uninformed and stupid? I don't think so. When I say I ignore the news, I ignore it as best I can, but I'm a prolific social media user and big stories are unavoidable in retweets and shares, so I'm aware when something truly awful has happened, like the Westminster terror attack in London earlier this year, but once I know the general story I don't want to keep going over it.

I'm an emotional girl, NSPCC commercials and every single birth on One Born Every Minute leave me in floods of tears, I take on a lot to heart and I can not/don't want to fill my brain with all the ugly in the world. I already struggle with the thought that I'll be bringing my children into a cruel and confusing world, but I chose to concentrate on the good, the hopeful and the happy and if that does mean I'm sheltered and nieve then so be it.

Fashion Faux Pas

A few years back, I wrote a piece for my local newspaper, The Evening Echo, about the pitfalls of beauty and fashion when you're disabled. After a day in Lakeside today, I've found some more issues I thought I'd share with you.

Fear of the lost ring - I've lost 20+lb's on Slimming world and my engagement ring has become dangerously loose! Due to Cerebral Palsy on my left side, I can't feel my hand, so if I lost my ring, or a bracelet I wouldn't know unless I purposely checked - the horror! So now whilst pushing myself around New Look, Mike looks after the ring.

Boredom - I texted my wedding make-up artist, Faye, to ask advice on good skin care yesterday, I'm very slack when it comes to beauty products and daily rituals. Today's shopping trip reminded me of a conversation I'd had with Faye about what makeup and hair I wanted for the wedding. I became irrationally excited during this conversation as I struggle to do hair and makeup in day to day life, with one fully functioning hand. My hair is either in a ponytail or poker straight and I wear the same 5 makeup products every.single.day. So having the luxury of a hair and makeup artist for the wedding day is a real treat!

Lusting for footwear - I've mentioned my croissant shaped foot, countless times on this blog and vlog, as well as causing horrendous pain, my bloomin' foot also mean's I cannot wear beautiful shoes. I spent today drooling over heels, pumps and wedges but this is probably great for my back account because if I could wear shoes there would be an entire room in the house dedicated to them!

Wheelchair Faux Pas - When I ordered my wheelchair, 5 years ago, I requested it to be the colour of Cadbury's purple - it arrived pink! But whether it's pink or purple, it just doesn't go with all my outfits! Next time I'll order a sleek black chair - black goes with everything!

Until Next Wednesday!
L xxx

In case you didn't see last week's vlog see the video below, if you can't see a video click here.

I'm a Disney feminist

I've seen the live-action Beauty and the Beast 3 times.....so far! It's wonderful, I was worried I'd be expecting Emma Watson to whip out her wand at any moment, but I think she played Belle superbly, the whole cast was brilliant, even casting Ewan McGregor, a Scot, to play the exquisitely French Lumière was a win!

Beauty and The Beast

There has been the inevitable backlash against the film. Firstly due to the gay characters - what poppycock! Do people really think Gay people didn't exist in 18th century France? Half the European royalty had both men and woman keeping their plush beds warm.

The second backlash came because Disney princesses are seen as anti-feminist. Yes, there is usually a handsome Prince involved but the Princesses, especially the newer additions, have been kick-arse diva's, fighting for their cause, their loved ones and their towns.

As a child, my favourite Disney Princess was Airel, a beautiful gutsy redhead (why do you think I have the red hair I have today?). Yes, she fell in love with Eric but that girl had some balls; going to Ursella having her voice taken, risking her father's kingdom, then going to an unknown land alone. I get scared going to Sainsbury's on my own - but as a child, Ariel inspired me, she had courage, and spirit and I tried to convince myself that since my legs didn't work that well, I was obviously a mermaid and the leg-spell had gone wrong.

Ariel

There are various campaigns to ban pink, barbies and gender specific clothing, but why can't we have pink, blue, yellow, green, black and all the colours in between? I agree that Barbie's figure is an unattainable and unrealistic one that could be adapted to a more average woman, but as a girl, I never once looked at her waist, I spent all my time looking at her wardrobe and using my garden as an obstacle course. I didn't have a Ken doll, I borrowed my brothers Action Men and Barbie whooped ass in the Ferrari and Tank. I am all for gender fluidity and I'm a full supporter of LGBT rights/campaigns and yet I still love all things girlie and pink.

I am a feminist. I am a cheerleader for all the woman and men in my life, I teach my Nieces and Nephews about being strong, being who they are and doing what they want to do. My niece Abi is the perfect example of a girlie Feminist. She'll dress in "boy" clothing, teamed with a tutu and a crown, she's the first one diving into a muddy puddle, attempting the biggest climbing frame in the park, all whilst donning Frozen wellies. She is strong, but loves a cuddle, has her eye on a boy already, but doesn't put up with any crap from anyone.

If you haven't already, take your children to see Beauty and the Beast. Belle is feisty and gives as good as she get's, telling The Beast where to go when he's being an idiot, she's courageous taking her father's place as a prisoner and rocks some stunning gowns whilst riding horses - and not side saddle either!

Margo, Edith, and Agnes

Disney films are meant to be an escape from the real world, each of the Princesses reflects society at the time of their release. Cartoons now have characters like Elsa, Merida, Margo, Edith, and Agnes and there are rumours that Elsa will fall in love with a girl (Shock horror!) in the next Frozen film, because we are turning into a more tolerant world, which celebrates differences, and if you aren't going to watch a Disney film because of that, you are missing out and not just at the cinema.

Until next week.
L x

Attack of the Bridezilla

After last week's announcement, that we had booked our wedding, we've had an overall wonderful response and have managed to book the majority of the companies/people we need for the day. I just have to find a makeup/hair artist and transport, plus even the hen do preparations have started - and who knew that would be more complicated that the wedding day itself lol!

After years of being a bridesmaid or guest at 3 dozen weddings, I've taken note from all the couples; the do's and don'ts of the day according to those who's been there, done it and come out thousands of pounds lighter the other side.

Much to our surprise, luck and gratitude, the wedding planning has come along beautifully and easily. I'm very much expecting something to have gone wrong or that I've forgotten something crucial, yet I have still found myself getting in a bit of a huff, the Bridezilla in me, rearing its ugly head.

Bridezilla gonna get ya!

Why are there no nice brown invite envelopes on Amazon Prime? Why did I eat that cake/prosecco/chocolate when I know full well that I have a wedding dress to squeeze into by July? Why don't I know what the weather will be like on the day? Is it crass and cheeky to ask for cash as a wedding gift? These are all very much, 1st world problems and mostly ridiculous thoughts but they've still kept me up at night, I don't sleep enough as it is!

Stupid brain, I didn't think I'd be so twitchy about the whole thing, I am someone who would have happily never married Mike, skipped that step and got straight onto having babies, but now it's happening, I want it to be a great day that people enjoy. I want them to be well fed, dance until they drop and drink lots so I'm not they only numpty throwing ridiculous moves on the dance floor; why oh why can't I control all my guests' free will and emotions damn it!

I am well aware that I sound like a self-indulgent brat, but I'm giddy with excitement. Over the years I've seen countless social media posts about other weddings; Brides panicking, Meme's telling brides to shut the hell up, so I've tried not to bang on about the wedding too much in person either.

I don't want to be "that friend", the one who manages to bring every conversation back to the wedding day, the one who complains when she can't find the right envelopes, the one who preaches at other brides to be about what they should or shouldn't be doing!

What a minefield weddings are! I'm enjoying the process more than I was at the beginning, despite the idiot thoughts running around my tiny brain. So I now pledge, in hopes that I don't drive my readers mental too, to limit myself to only one wedding vlog or blog a month.

So, now I've got to find 15 non-wedding related subjects between now at the day.... damn it again!
L xxx

In case you didn't see last weeks vlog watch below. If you can't see the video click here and please subscribe!

We have an announcement!

Yes, it's vlog week, but I don't know how to integrate photos into my video yet!  So here's the video, and the photos!

Watch to find out our news!

Our Afternoon Tea at Cake boy London was courtesy of Red Letter Days 

Celebrating our 11th Anniversary

Afternoon Tea at Cake Boy London

These are not just sandwiches

Dessert like I've I've never had before

Shoes at Selfridges

School of Rock

I highly recommend School of Rock! It was such a wonderful musical, funny, heartfelt with a rocking soundtrack!

Until Next Wednesday

L xxx

Gi, Tom and Me.

The last week has been a funny one, odd and unusual you might say. I left you with a rant about wedding planning. We've now narrowed it down to two local, very different, venues. I'm so far, not enjoying the wedding planning. There's so much to consider, luckily we have a lot of friends and family keeping me calm.

I had a great day at my Mums last Thursday, snuggles with my youngest nephew, time spent with three of the bigger ones. I cooked dinner for my Mum and Sister, whilst introducing Mum to Bridget Jones, we're doing two more nights to see the other two films, educating our Mumsy in the wonder on Miss Jones. This day made up for the fact that Mike and I were meant to go and see Davina McCall, film A Year From Now at Elstree Studio's - my not sleeping for two days put a stop to that treat *sulk!*

But, the next day I ticked an item off my bucket list. My friend Alison and I took a road trip to Brighton, we popped into my Sister in Law's cafe (The Coach House) and then into town to meet Author, Actor, Writer Giovanna Fletcher. She's written a book on her experiences as a mummy. A tad premature on my part, but I see the book as research - that's what I've told Mike anyway lol!

Gi was lovely, she spent a couple of minutes getting to know each of her fans and then was gracious to have a selfie with each and every one of us. I adore her, and her husband, Tom Fletcher (McFly) and have followed their careers/lives for years now and to meet Gi made me a little giddy.

Me and Gi

Gi, Me and Alison

After getting home from Brighton, driving Mike mad with every little detail of our road trip, I slept for a solid 12 hours. I needed it as we were seeing our first possible wedding venue - Southend's Pier (where Jamie and Jimmy's is filmed). It was a wonderful seaside setting but my caster wheels kept dropping through the planks - not a great start. I had, had my heart set on the place, so I was pretty sad afterwards, but luckily we were heading to Balham that evening for my friend Tom's Birthday, house party.

Obligatory pre-night out couples selfie

Tom is married to my gorgeous friend Kirsty, who I met at school and regular readers may remember we spent four days in Tuscany for their wedding in 2015. We had so much fun, we'd effectively been on holiday with all of the house party guests so it was a mini reunion too. We rocked in at 3am, having experienced my first Uber - how trendy of me!

Kirsty and Tom

I spent the next two day's recovering - not just because of my medical conditions, I'm officially old, the hangover was horrendous - I'll need to build up my tolerance before our wedding - more on that next week!

Until next time, for vlog week!
L xxx

Accessible Romance

When you're planning a wedding, and you're a disabled Bride, it's not just guest lists, chair covers and DJ's you need to think about! Today I talk about accessible romance! If you can't see the video click here!

Please subscribe to my channel, Youtube have changed their rules and I can't get my personalised URL without a certain amount of subscribers.

If you're in Essex and have any wedding related businesses or recommendations, please get in touch; Lynsey_Ellard@hotmail.com, all vendors used in our wedding will get a full write up in my blogs and all social medias.

Until Next Wednesday!

L xxx

P.S In case you didn't see my last blog, I wrote about disability discount, click here to read all about it, who doesn't want to save some extra pennies? 

Silver Linings

I love a discount, I don't love being disabled, but the two collide in some lovely money saving opportunities, I thought everyone knew about, but after speaking to disabled friends who didn't I decided to share a few tips and tricks to save some pennies as we all know /DLA/PIP doesn't get us very far!

Every cloud has a silver lining....

Cinema

I put this one first as it's my favourite discount of them all! If you don't already, get yourself a CEA card. Set up by the Cinema Exhibitors Association, this little gem of plastic gets your "carer" (In my case this is anyone willing to be dragged to see all the films!) a free ticket when accompanying you. I believe it's for your safety, it's thought sensible that you bring a friend since we're vulnerable in emergency situations. 

If I take a friend along we would share the discount and only pay for one ticket between us..... but wait, it gets better. Most UK cinema chains have introduced monthly pay schemes where you can see as many films and you like, as many times as you like, BUT if you have a CEA card you can use them together. 

So, today Mike and I saw La La Land (Incredible!) and Split (Genius!) and it only cost my £17.99 fee for us both to go, my carer still goes free and I only pay my Odeon direct debit, today should have cost us £42 now any other films we see this month are effectively free!

For more information on CEA cards go here https://www.ceacard.co.uk/

Home

Living expenses, when you live on benefits, can be stressful but there is help available. If you are a recipient of ESA you are entitled to apply for a council tax reduction, because most of us have to adapt our homes or even extend them, this could push our homes into higher council tax rates, hence why this discount is available. 

To contact your local council about this reduction go here https://www.gov.uk/find-local-council

When buying the aforementioned disabled equipment or adaptions keep in mind that you do not pay VAT on them. They are necessities to our way of life and they are not cheap, even with the VAT removed, so make sure that if you purchase anything related to your disability that you get the VAT off, 

If you have a water meter some water companies will cap your bill if you can prove that you use a lot of water because of your disability. Contact your own water supplier for information.

Car

As a disabled woman, I have to rely on other A LOT and this includes being driven around, with public transport being such a pain with any mobility aids our car is a God send. Unlike non-disabled people, we cannot hop on a train or on a bus, so if you get DLA/PIP you do not have to pay your car tax. 

To read up on car Tax Exception go here https://www.gov.uk/vehicle-exempt-from-vehicle-tax

The infamous disabled blue badges, don't just let you park on double yellow lines or nearer to the door at Tesco, they also mean that you are exempt from the Dartford tunnel charges (and most other paid for bridges in the UK) and the London Congestion charge too to apply go to https://tfl.gov.uk/modes/driving/congestion-charge/discounts-and-exemptions

Plus until the Brexit (ever!) happens, you can use your badges in Europe for parking and (as we did in Pisa, Italy) use them for car park discounts, 

To apply for a Blue Badge go here https://www.gov.uk/apply-blue-badge

Theme Parks/Theatre's/Events

If you are partial to a rollercoaster, a gig at the O2 or a day at a Duxford Airshow, always ask about their disability discounts. I have seen many a show where Mike and I have only had to pay for one ticket, I assume since a lot of us cannot get around freely and alone, companies feel sorry for the poor bugger dragged along to any shows, this is part of why you get a free carer. 

Theme parks general give you a free pass for your carer, a discount for yourself and if a second carer is needed they give them discounts off their ticket too. It's all about planning, phoning the venue before hand or checking their websites for details and some places have dedicated phone lines for disabled customers. 

Hope this helps some of you out there! Let me know how you get on!

Until Next Wednesday

L xxx

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If you missed last weeks vlog watch it below or please click here, and because I'm an idiot, here is a photo of Teddy that I forgot to add to the end of last week's vlog video!

Gorgeous Teddy who has now gone home - Boo :(