Monday, 8 August 2011

Bruised Ego

I can’t quite believe I haven’t written in two months, where that time has gone I cannot fathom but also I can’t believe how I let my peach of an ego get so easily bruised into silencing myself for long.

For the first time since I started writing here, I was highly criticised for my views. It knocked me for six and the high from getting my 3,000 reader plummeted rapidly!

Regular readers will remember that I wrote a piece around my Birthday about age vs. Disability and my worrying about my future health problems. This was met with a lot of humour but several readers thought that I was selfish and did not appreciate my life, when so many are dying – in their eyes as one e-mail put it “you, b***h and moan about life and your so called hardship, when compared to others like my own best friend, who is dying slowly through MS, carry on and smile”.

These kinds of comments completely stopped me in my blogging tracks. Is this what everyone else thinks?

I can completely appreciate the heart break of someone you love dying and to see others around me unable to function through the grief – I've been on both sides.

However,  I do, in fact, appreciate and love life -  its incredible highs as well as the sinking lows, but I am only human and still only a young woman, and I started this blog to let others know about the day to day life with a disability and sometimes that isn’t all smiles and happy times; it’s scary, hard work and sometimes completely s**t. A lot of people have written in saying they love to know they’re not alone and take solace in the stark take I have on these issues.  

I am stupidly optimistic, forgiving and empathetic – I may one day be cured of my conditions but on the flip side I’m realistic – they way well get a lot worse. But in the end all I can say is that I appreciate all comments sent in; good or bad, and now I’ve had my first taste of bruised peach I can only strive to carry on supporting those who support me – to keep writing, making one or two of you laugh and smile wider at my critics.

L x


  1. Hi Lynz, You need to remember that this is YOUR blog. You can say what you like. If other people don't like it - tough. They don't have to read it. Commenting is one thing - criticising is something else altogether. Keep up the good work :)

  2. Sadly there is no cure for narrow mindedness. This disease hits those people that think they or their friends are the only ones with a problem. If someone dares to highlight their own problem, especially when it is to prove there are others with issues, and an attempt to offer advice and compare notes, those persons with that narrow minded disease get very touchy; they hit out with negative feedback. I have a name for these troubled souls - "Cocks". Thank goodness for freedom of speech. Crack on girl... I'm with you.

  3. Darling, you do a brilliant job of portraying your thoughts and feelings about your life. The important thing is that this IS YOURS! Your life. Your outlook. The people who know you support you wholeheartedly. The people that don't but have the emotional intelligence to spot the sadness and hurt amongst your humour will also appreciate your writing. Those that feel they have the right to take their own hurt and grief out on you don't deserve to know you. Don't ever waste a second thought, let alone a tear over these people. You are so loved and so respected- I often wish to be as brave as you x Boots x

  4. People too often spend so much energy trying to deny that there are hard and tough times, pain and suffering. Smiling and pretending that everything is always ok does not help others to acknowledge that it is ok to be p****d off with their lot at times, as long as it does not become the focus of their life! S**t happens and to say that we are always ok with it just sets others up to believe that they are wrong for feeling angry, sad or sorry for themselves on occassion. All of these emotions are part of being human and being made to deny them is not good for a person's mental health!! I think your blog is a fantastic resource for everyone and you are an inspiration, don't take the negative comments to heart but see them as the anger at life that some hold and are directing at you in error! A very proud Auntie x

  5. Dear Lynz,
    I have spent the last few days dumbfounded by the current news and now I feel equally dumbfounded that someone felt the need to contact you in such a negative and aggressive manner. I am in no position to comment on the angst and hardship that comes, amongst other things, with suffering from an illness or disease. But who am I, or anyone else for that matter, to determine or comment on, the severity of someones suffering in comparison to anothers? Our experiences of life are totally subjective and you would be ignorant to think that one vicious email would "snap" someone out of their feelings. You are entitled to your emotions and feelings about any events in your life. If this were not the case and ur feelings/experiences are only relative to those of others then I could be inclind to say "so what you're suffering lynz, that other person is dying of MS". But I could equally say "stuff that person dying of MS, its nothing in comparison to the 11 million dying of starvation in Africa or the 19 mothersa day who give birth to still born babies or the children still affected by the devastation at chernobyl or the 78 shot to death while they swam for their livesin norway". This isn't a competition - we are seperated from the animals in many ways but among those human only "conditions" are the ability to feel sympathy and empathy- so next time you feel like emailing, whoevet you are, try using some! And think of the effect your actions and words have on others.


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