Why Mike?

I was reading an article on why people married their spouses after a long time of being together. There were so many reasons for people taking their time to tie the knot, they wanted to save for houses, had children or a huge life event spurred them into taking the plunge.

With just 23 days until our wedding, after 11 and a half years together, we've certainly taken our time. I was never that worried about getting married, my parents aren't and it's not a popular past time in my huge family. Then Mike took his sweet time proposing and then we took further 3 years to get our arses in gear.

In the time we've been together, we've seen couples come together, fall apart... and yet we're still together. Some people have commented that our relationship isn't as valid as those who've exchanged rings, or that life is so different after saying I do. Can a piece of paper and jewellery really change 11 years of the way we live in our relationship?

One of my nieces asked why I was marrying Mike, I don't think she's meant, why on earth are you marrying that man... at least I hope she didn't! I guessed that she was asking what made me chose him.

Why do I love Mike? He is one of a kind. Geologist, Genealogist, Artist, Book Keeper, Handy man, Builder, Website designer, Photo restorer - a man with that many hobbies can't be anything but fascinating. He makes me laugh until I cry (Mike and his sister together render me to the point where my back spasms and I can't breathe with laughter!), he's protective without being possessive, strong, reliable, sweet and daft.

Mike's also grumpy, stubborn and sees everything in black and white, a trait I've spent a decade trying to fade into many shades of grey. But I wouldn't have him any other way.

We've been through deaths, court cases, rough patches, mental health issues, illnesses, road trips, holidays with both our families and a long distant relationship whilst he travelled the world for work and now we're embarking on a new business, marriage, babies. I think we're more than prepared for life post vows, but a wedding doesn't lessen the meaning or wonder of the 4180 days we've been together before that special day in front of our loved ones!

L xxx

The Proposal!

With Valentine's Day almost upon us, I thought I'd share Mike and I's engagement story. I never got to write about it as my brain was fogged with drama and a heavy dose of codeine! So, for new followers, I'll recap how Mike and I met.

One of my best friends Leanne and I met in an unusual way. My pal Mike P started dating Leanne's buddy Lauren. Suddenly Leanne and I were relationship widows, so we formed a singles alliance built on road trips in Leanne's bright orange 1980's car and a diet of junk food, booze and self pity.

Leanne joined an online social and dating group, she convinced me to join too. I'd met my ex online but had been single for 18 months, although I signed up, I wasn't too fussed about being in a relationship again.

Then I met Mike aka VanillaGorilla and I was LilPinkDuck.. I fancied the pants off him but he lived 80miles away, neither of us drove and I couldn't travel on my own in the wheelchair, so I blocked his profile. Lucky for me, Leanne and even Lauren (who would come up for air occasionally!) kept unblocking Mike or Geology Boy, the nickname they had bestowed upon him.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

The Proposal

9 Years on, the boy and I have a mortgage, a merged DVD collection and have fended off countless questions of marriage and babies. I was very laid back about the whole thing, I know plenty of unmarried couples who are perfectly happy, but every time we'd go on holiday, I'd wonder whether he was going to propose . 3 trips to Australia, 4 to Spain, Ireland and an epic trip to New York later, my hand came back empty.

From day one, Mike had said that he'd want to get married and have two babies by the time we were 30, so when I turned 30 on June 5th of last year, I was a tad confused, none of these plans had materialised and yet we were still happily together.

A year before I turned 30, Mike and his family had booked a holiday to Disneyland Paris combined with a week in Bordeaux in June 2014. Off we went, to the land of fine foods, excellent wines and the happiest place in Europe - Disney!

Disney was amazing, no matter how old you are, the place gives you goose bumps and sore cheeks from all the smiling. On the second day there, Emma, Mike's sister, told us that she'd booked us in for dinner at Jules Verne, the restaurant inthe Eiffel Tower! I was beside myself with excitement, a trip to the centre of Paris with the best views in the entire city!

So, on June 19th Mike and I caught a (double decker!) train to Paris. I thought he was a tad moody, but put it down to him being tired. As we walked out of the train station, we were faced with the Arc de Triomphe, which is so much bigger than I realised. We started walking/rolling into town and there, in the distance, was the Eiffel Tower, the beacon of France, the monument of so many films and TV shows.

The tower was also a lot bigger than I had imagined, it was also majestic and more beautiful than I'd given it credit for. After dropping our stuff off at a hotel we headed for an early dinner.

My oh my! If you ever get the chance to go to the Jules Verne restaurant - GO! The food was simply exquisite, the service was second to none and the champagne flowed beautifully. I felt on top of the world. The France skyline surrounding us, with blue skies immerging - I felt so lucky, maybe too lucky and I have never been so full in my entire life!

After dinner we went back to the hotel so that Mike could change out of his suit and into his infamous Hawaiian shorts. I felt so full, I started to nap but begrudging left the hotel to make the most of Paris.

We had photos of all the views from the Eiffel Tower and none of the tower it's self, so we headed to the grassed garden surrounding the landmark.

There were hundreds of people doing selfies with the Tower. Coach trips, couples, friends and artists huddled together to get the perfect shots. We were no different, using Mike's gorilla pod fashioned into a make shift selfies stick.

We were about to leave when Mike said he had a gift for me, he handed me a package with his sisters address on the front. I opened the gift to find a pad lock with the words "Lynsey Ellard and Mike Garrick together in Paris". I was silly excited as I'd not had a chance to get a padlock made to attached to the famous locks of love bridge, which was on my bucket list.

Moment's before Mike asked

I hugged and kissed the boy, I was so thrilled he had been so thoughtful and romantic but then he told me to check the packaging again for another gift. I felt another padlock and read the words...

"Lynsey Ellard, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with U! Will you marry me?"

I looked at Mike, back to the lock, back to Mike and to the lock once more.

I asked "Really??" Mike laughed, I giggled leapt at him at with a kiss then said "Of course I will...... and finally!!"

I was giddy with joy and Mike explained why he had forgone some of the proposal traditions. He said he was too scared to kneel down, as he was worried I'd keel over, sensible as I have trouble standing at the best of times. He hadn't chosen a ring, this was more my influence, I rarely wear jewellery so I thought it best that we chose it together.  If I was going to wear a ring my whole life - I'd have to love it!

Mike hadn't managed to ask my parents hand in marriage as he had flown in from California hours before we'd left for France, he phoned them straight after the proposal, luckily they said yes!

I spent the next hour calling friends and family (running up a £100+ bill!) although I couldn't get through to a lot of them with signal and overseas phone issues sadly.  Then I completed my very modern love story with a very modern announcement on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with the photo below I put the words...

The boy did good!

The ring we chose together

"What a locky girl I am! We're #engaged! The boy #proposed on a lock of love in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris!"

A very ‘locky’ girl indeeed!  

L x

Que Sera Sera

I know this blog is a couple of days late. I thought you may all forgive me since I wrote the Cancer and #Nomakeupselfie  instead!

I have a column in my local newspaper again today, that will be posted here soon but here is the last one. (Click on the Photo below)

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my Mother, what I would be?"
We all know Que Sera Sera by Doris Day, in fact it's one of my favourites.

It's funny when you look back to your childhood and even your teens, you reassess the way you thought about things. Recently, I've looked back on my views on relationships.

Mike and I are possibly upping sticks and moving to Denver, Colorado, USA later this year.  It has suddenly dawned on me that he and I are going to have to stick together more than ever before. This is ironic, as regular readers will know; Mike is a geologist and has been working on oil rigs for the last 8 years, so we've been a long distance couple. Without our family and friends around us, I know I'll be clinging on to Mike for dear life.

8 Years, and so many coupled selfies!

Mike is used to travelling, being away from home and missing out on big events like weddings, baby showers and special birthdays, I'm not.

I think that Mike and I together and as individuals WILL cope with this huge change, but I've been harvesting advice (whether welcomed or not!) and looking at all the relationships that surround us.

One of our friends refers to us at her Slippers. This said friend is a single Mum and we've been there for her through thick and thin; dating, pregnancy, break ups and an unfortunate evening in trawling through online dating site's with her. 

She see's us as Slippers because, in her eyes we're the old (although not married) couple; strong dependable and most of all good friends.

This, however, does not mean we've not had our ups and down, family problems, Mike's OCD, my laziness, his job and my jealously issues and many more have all tested our resolve as a couple. I think people are too afraid to admit to this, there is a part of me that worries that I've failed in part or have been a complete mug in others eyes, but 99% of me is proud that we're still together after all of the above.

When I was a child, I always had my head in a book or up in the clouds; I would fall in love at 16, go to University at 18, then marry at 21, we would have two children by the time we were 25 and in the meantime I would become editor of Smash Hits, More or Cosmopolitan.

How wrong could I be? I think the clouds fogged my reality checker.

There have been a lot of relationships changes for our friends lately; the career girl, getting engaged in Tuscany,  the couple that were together for 4 years, shockingly split who then turned back the clock and going back to dating each other, the controlling partner finally told the truth, the young couple divorcing after less than a year, love is a messy business!

It seems a lot of us aren't on the paths our childhood selves imagined, or the life our teenage selves gossiped about, hell, I'm not even leading the life my 25yr old self thought about.

Relationships are hard work. I wouldn't give up Mike and I's one for all the tea in China, but I've had to learn the art's in compromise, self confidence and holding ones tongue. It's said you can only learn from your own mistakes, I beg to differ, as weird as this may sound, seeing all the up's and downs of everyone else's relationships has been a great teaching ground.

I am 100% positive that friends and family have looked at Mike and I and thought "I wouldn't put up with that" or "Jeez rather them than me" as no relationship is smooth running and perfect. Maybe we’ve taught them something?

As a writer I'm always looking for stories, trouble is, none of my friends want their dirty laundry aired in public , so it seems you'll just have to put up with my scandal and honesty.... trouble is, I quite like being one in a pair of safe slippers - how dull!

L x

P.S Don't forget to enter my Easter Bunny Competition click here for more details!

Love is in the air!

This week, I realised I hadn't posted an article I wrote, that was featured in the Southend Evening Echo, about being in a long distance relationship. Since it is Valentine's Day and Mike is away in California, it seemed apt that I would post this piece about our strange relationship.

Click on the photo below to read the article in full.

Mike and I

I love Valentine's Day, some would say this is because I'm in a relationship, but even when I was single I loved seeing/hearing what everyone else was up to, especially now that we have Facebook, I enjoy seeing all the sweet things people do for each other! I'll probably get a barrage of messages telling me I'm a sap who evidently believes in RomComs and Fairytales, well, why not? I'd rather look on the bright and fun side of life than be a miserable cynic.

Saying all that, I'm not naive, I realise it has become a very commercial event, with card retailers, florists and restaurants cashing in, putting up prices and trying to sell us everything covered in hearts, glitter and pink fluff, but they must be on to something, as there's no market without consumers.

Whether you're single or coupled up, enjoy the cheesefest, if nothing else it's an excuse to curl up, eat chocolate and watch a movie featuring your most lusted after film star... tonight my friend Jo and I are having a girls night in and I know she'll want a Johnny Depp and I'll request Gerard Butler....ooo touch choice!

L x