OZ and Thoughts

Well here we are in 2011. I’m thankful 2010 is over. It was one of the worst years I and many others I know have ever had. I spent September through to December dwelling on it too. I seem to have come out the other side with incite and hope never the less.

Not all of 2010 was completely awful I have to admit; although the many children born have made me less broody than ever, I adore them all. I’m proud of my family and friends; you’re all doing a brilliant job as new parents. My camera is always by my side and two years ago all you would have seen on the memory card back then would have been drunken glitter studded pictures of my friends and I. Oh how times have changed there are now 600 photo’s of bonny little ones from December alone! Many more are due this year; there will be more children than adults in my life soon.

Another highlight of last year was of course the original point of this blog, my freedom! The GoGo and yet to be named new wheelchair have given me a thirst for travel and yet more freedom, I’m getting greedy and am desperate to get back to my driving lessons, which are on hold until I can lower my pain medication and I regain the use of more than one brain cell.

I’m almost 9 months into my relapse now, it’s by no means the worst pain I’ve been in but it’s become one of the most persistent phases I’ve been through, I’m bored now! Frustrated could be a better description since all this time sat wallowing has given me time to really think about things.

I realised that although I want the wit and intelligence of Stephen Fry, the voice and looks of Katherine Jenkins and the business mind of Sir Alan Sugar, none of the above are going to happen, least not without a Christmas miracle and oops... it seems I missed that boat. But I can only try to be myself. I’m sick of apologising for being who I am and liking/disliking the things I do.

I love Glee, I watch Love Actually at least three times a year, I’ve never seen Star Wars or The Godfather films, I clap like a five year old when excited, I’m terrible at texting/calling back, this isn’t me being mean just forgetful, I worry about everything/everyone all the time, I can be unbelievably lazy and moody, I still have issues about not being a dancer (Irony), I’m a writer than refuses to show any one my work (other than these ramblings) and I can eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s 15 minutes and still not work out why I’m always a bit fat! – Oh yeah!

I have to start thinking, “I don’t care what you think!” “I’m going to do what I like when I like with whom I wish to it with” – in the most innocent of contexts of course.

See? These relapses are hazardous not only physically but mentally, I have too much time on my hands and that’s dangerous. So quite randomly I’m off to Australia, almost completely unplanned and there I’m hoping the warm weather will release my body of the relapse and just fry my one remaining brain cell so my inner voice shuts up!

Hopefully body and mind will reunite soon!

L x