Last night as part of the Baby Britain season BBC Three aired a documentary called A
Special Kind of Mum, featuring two young mothers, Michelle and Trish, who
happened to be disabled.
A Special Kind of Mum showed both women tackling
their roles as mothers despite the difficulties and prejudice they faced on a
daily basis. Both have been told by strangers and loved ones that they should
not be mums, that they are selfish to have children in the first place and were
both advised by medical staff that they should consider abortions.
Lately since I’m in my late twenties and have been
with Mike (boyfriend) for 7 years, I’ve thought about having children and not a
week goes by when someone doesn't ask when we’re going to take the plunge and have
mini Lynsey’s running around the house.
To be honest I’m absolutely terrified of having
children. Like Michelle and Trish I’ll struggle with the day to day tasks of
motherhood but my problems will start during pregnancy. I’ll have to forgo the pain medication I rely on and a growing bump will cause all sorts of problems
with my spastic muscles causing yet more pain.
I often wonder how will I cope once my children are born? I’ve ask my nearest and dearest for advice but most people just say “Oh
you’ll cope” or “You’ll be fine” no one gives me actual practical advice to specific
problems but after watching A Special Kind of Mum I saw how it’s actually done.
Having little to no use of her limbs Trish did
everything using her mouth and teeth. From cooking, dressing her children,
changing nappies and picking up the baby, Trish is a brilliant Mum. How people
have the cheek to tell her she’s a selfish mother to her children I don’t know!
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| Trish picking up Amber-Jane (Image borrowed from the BBC) |
Looking at Michelle’s gorgeous little boy Treziah,
you cannot comprehend how anyone could have suggested for her to have an abortion.
Motherhood for Michelle is tough, her son although is only 2 is catching up to
his mums height making him harder to control when he’s being naughty. Michelle even goes on to say she’s trying to be super mum to compensate for her
disability but she is doing a brilliant job.
Sadly I know parents who have abused and neglected
their children, these people are perfectly able bodied and of sound mind and
many of them go years or a lifetime never being pulled up on their behaviour
and yet Michelle and Trish are called bad mothers for doing a stunning job, how
many of you would be willing to change a soiled nappy with your mouth?
There is a lack of advice, equipment and services
for disabled parents, many are just sent in the direction of social services.
One parent trying to change that is former Hollyoaks actress Kelly-Marie Stewart who has set up a campaign called Invisible Mums so that disabled
parents can have an independent life with their children and those who have not
had children, like myself, can begin to plan for their children’s lives rather
than living in fear that they might not be able to cope or at worst having the
children taken into care because they simply cannot cope. You’ll find the petition here please sign it!!
I may not be able to push my future children in
their pushchairs, I may not be able to run around with them at the park or be
able to carry them down stairs without having to bump them down whilst sitting
on my bottom but I know I’ll do the best job I can do. They will be well
loved, fed, kept warm and clean, taught their ABC’s and their manners I’ll just
have to leave rugby, hide and seek and hockey to their Dad!
Lx
P.s You can watch A Special Kind of Mum online by going here! If you are already a parent and in need of support please go here
