Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Cherry on Top

Yesterday I started a diet, probably my 4th since February and coming home from Australia unable to get into my jeans (Back with a Bump). I always start on a Monday of the 1st of the month?!

I’m back in my jeans and have been since March but I have two hen weekends, and their subsequent weddings, a holiday in Spain and a family Christening in the next 8 weeks = Summer dresses and bikinis – and over the last weekend panic rose from my rounded tummy to my double chin framed throat!

Irony struck when I watched Cherry Healey’s documentary – My Body Dilemma. Cherry Healey is a TV journalist who records frank documentaries for BBC3 about all things us girls fret over like money, relationships, babies and last night was Mrs Healey wanting to explore why we worry about our bodies rather than embrace them.

Cherry Healey
There were three things that struck a cord in the hour programme. The first being that Cherry weighed herself every morning – I do this 5 out of 7 days of the week – obsessed much? The second that Cherry’s personal diaries were filled with self loathing and envy of others – I don’t even need to look in my diary to know how much time I’ve wasted doing the same.

The third was when Cherry interviewed Kirsty Lou an 18 stone fashion blogger who had encountered people actually throwing things at her for being a bigger girl?!? I’ve had the same treatment but it didn’t occur to me that larger people would be branded freaks as us disabled people are. I personally would kill for her self confidence and her wardrobe! 

More irony occurred to me; my looks/weight are two things I’ve never been pulled up on or bullied for and yet I worry more about whether I look fat than disabled – not that I should worry about either - doh!

Why do we waste so much time and effort worrying how we look? On a personal note if I used up more of my time trying to live a healthy life rather than spending my time counting calories and detoxing I’d A. Have more constructive time on my hands and B. Would save a ton of money not buying “low fat” products and therefore could invested in structured underwear and clothes a.k.a making the most of me!

Because of my health issues I’ll probably never see size 10 again – so be it and to be honest if I was really that distraught about my curves – I’d have done something about it and stuck to it!

So, I’ve taken the batteries out of my scales, taken down the Weight Watchers point free list from my kitchen wall and opened the box of Thank you Chocolate Truffles I was given last week – the Cherry on top of my muffin (top) cake - mmmm cake....

L x

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Young Carers

Feeling abit rubbish with a cold, so since I’m on a mission to keep in touch and not wanting to do very much, I want to direct you to a piece I have up on my www.mytownsouthend.com column. Click here to read about young carers in the UK.

I have been a Director/Trustee or South Essex Relate and their sister charities (Family and Relationship Centre and Sycamore – young carers charity) since I was 20 when I was offered counselling through a difficult time. After my counselling finished and after giving some constructive feedback on their services I was offered a place on the board.

Please read the article and if you’re to Southend please consider volunteering!
L x

Friday, 12 August 2011

Something different!

Something a little different today... Someone else has written this for me! A little back story on this post..

One of my best buddies is getting married very soon, we shall call her Mrs T (to be!)  and as the trend goes, she has been getting fit for the big day with a body over hall in the Body Boot Camps that have become very popular lately. At one of Mrs T’s boot camp sessions she seriously hurt her knee (by the way this is in no way the Boot Camps doing – she stubborn and wouldn’t give in!). Anyway she had to carry on whilst she waited for her knee to heal and had to use a mobility scooter around a big supermarket shop and here is the e-mail I received of her experience....

"As we know, life goes on, so off we go to Tesco for essentials. Being the gentleman he is, Mr T endeavours to find a way to make this as painless as possible and arrives with a mobility scooter, Tesco's own with a basket and everything!  Now, as a usually able-bodied person- as far as mobility is concerned;  My first thought 'Oh, this is bit embarrassing, people will look at me!', my second, 'How vain am I?!', the third and final on this matter, 'Ouch, ouch, ouch bring me the damn seat on wheels!!'.  Off we poodle around Tesco, Mr T taking the lead, me; wishing I had 'L' plates.  I have to say, it was a far greater experience than the little joy-ride I expected. 

I was amazed at the different reactions from people, even in this little scooter available for anyone and all the difficulty manoeuvring the isles.  I was greeted by everything from stares from strangers, children pointing and people whispering or even elbowing each other and laughing, to those that made a point of making eye contact or not looking in my direction at all!  I can only assume to save embarrassment!  

My feelings about this ranged from 'what the hell are you laughing at?!' to 'Hellloooo, I'm down here!'.  Seeing the World from half my height, even for half an hour in a supermarket, gave me an entirely new respect for all those wheelchair/scooter-bound!  

My ego was squashed and irritated by those that looked right through me, reached over me- even moved me out of the way! It was further bruised by those that laughed and pointed.  Little old dears nodding and smiling made me feel 'in the club'- but is this a club I should have joined after hurting my knee and not walking tall like the majority in the store? I think not.

I marvel at the ignorance of most around us.  I clearly could not reach items I needed whilst I moved ahead of Kit on my scooter- once I'd got the hang of the steering- yet not a single offer of help came my way.  Someone I once worked for refused to even acknowledge that he knew me- now that makes him really shallow or me a very poor employee!

Anyway, my point is I am amazed at the level of self control needed! I wanted to rant at these people or run them over!

Maybe a day in a scooter or wheelchair should be part of the school curriculum? Food for thought!
L x

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Stick together!

If you haven’t heard about the London riots/looting drama, you must be living under a rock, buried under a ton of cement - in Outer Mongolia!

My Facebook and Twitter (Lynseybee) feeds have been dominated by the urban war and quite rightly so. I’m proud of our capital and country we are such a tiny island with such influence and history. I love London and not just because I’m Hackney born and bred or that my entire maternal family live in the East/West sides of the borough.

I’ve been upset to see such disregard towards other people and property but I was angered that close family and friends were left frightened and lost in their own homes. One of my cousin’s fiancĂ©’s has been so scared, her Facebook status has been constantly asking friends advice as to whether she’s safe to take her babies out to get some shopping – sickening!

Many charities have asked people to check on the elderly/disabled neighbours. A lot of people in online forums/twitter have expressed their sadness and anger that they cannot go out or feel they are easy targets for these thugs, it’s not as if we as disabled people can run away from trouble or defend ourselves fully in an attack.

If you have an elderly neighbour or a disabled friend, please take the time to check in with them, ask them if they need any help or simply pop your phone number and a note through their letter box saying that you’re there for them – and not just if you live in London.

With all this trouble going on we’re all scared and outraged by these mindless attacks, but the better side of our society will prevail and until then we need to stick together.

L x

Monday, 8 August 2011

Bruised Ego

I can’t quite believe I haven’t written in two months, where that time has gone I cannot fathom but also I can’t believe how I let my peach of an ego get so easily bruised into silencing myself for long.

For the first time since I started writing here, I was highly criticised for my views. It knocked me for six and the high from getting my 3,000 reader plummeted rapidly!

Regular readers will remember that I wrote a piece around my Birthday about age vs. Disability and my worrying about my future health problems. This was met with a lot of humour but several readers thought that I was selfish and did not appreciate my life, when so many are dying – in their eyes as one e-mail put it “you, b***h and moan about life and your so called hardship, when compared to others like my own best friend, who is dying slowly through MS, carry on and smile”.

These kinds of comments completely stopped me in my blogging tracks. Is this what everyone else thinks?

I can completely appreciate the heart break of someone you love dying and to see others around me unable to function through the grief – I've been on both sides.

However,  I do, in fact, appreciate and love life -  its incredible highs as well as the sinking lows, but I am only human and still only a young woman, and I started this blog to let others know about the day to day life with a disability and sometimes that isn’t all smiles and happy times; it’s scary, hard work and sometimes completely s**t. A lot of people have written in saying they love to know they’re not alone and take solace in the stark take I have on these issues.  

I am stupidly optimistic, forgiving and empathetic – I may one day be cured of my conditions but on the flip side I’m realistic – they way well get a lot worse. But in the end all I can say is that I appreciate all comments sent in; good or bad, and now I’ve had my first taste of bruised peach I can only strive to carry on supporting those who support me – to keep writing, making one or two of you laugh and smile wider at my critics.

L x